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Last night, for a friend’s birthday, I went out. The night started innocently enough at her apartment. Frankly, it was a strange mix of people and an hour into being there, I was ready to leave. Then, circumstances changed: “We’re going to a club!” the birthday girl announced.  We are? Oh, Ok… Being in the mood to go out and not to just sit in my new empty apartment staring at the walls, I agree to check out the club. And thus began my first introduction to Lima Lima in Tel Aviv.

When you first walk in, you are immediately struck by the heat in the club. The heat is radiating off of the people in club. The dance floor is rather small, but hot, sticky, sweaty, horny bodies are crammed together. The music was an eclectic mix of Israeli, old-skool hip hop, and mainstream. Everywhere you look, you feel as though you are in a Middle Eastern version of Dirty Dancing. People making out and dancing, people grinding closely, and men using dancing as an excuse to pick up women. After getting passed the initial shock of the heat, it is easy to to get sucked in.

Five minutes into being on the dance floor, a guy takes me and starts dancing with me. But, not just dancing; he’s giving me a poor-man’s swing dance to something Mizrahi. In between twirling, dipping, and spinning moves, he was asking me questions: What’s your name? What’s your sign? Where do you come from? Turns out he’s French, and I still am not sure what his name was.

After pushing me around the dance floor for a few minutes, he takes my hand and drags me outside, presumably to “get to know me.” In the light of the “chillout yard,” I can see his face. He’s not attractive. I wouldn’t even say he’s cute. In fact, he’s rather scary looking: he’s short, bald, with wild eyes, and horribly crooked teeth. Then, he starts seeing into my soul:

“You love three things.” Do I? Pray tell, what are they? “Food. *pause* Sleep. *pause* and Sex. *smirk*”
Well, he wasn’t wrong there.

“You scare me.” I’m scary?? Why’s that? “Because I am a man with serious relationships. Maybe I had 3 girlfriends and they lasted for over 2 years. You have lots of partners. You have power in your eyes.”
So, now I’m scary and powerful? A chilling combination.

He was trying rather forcefully to take me to coffee in these moments. It took my friend, and now savior, to come rescue me and pull me away from this short French man with his leering eyes and wild accusations.

So, would I go back to Lima Lima again? Of course. It’s fun to dance and apparently when your self-esteem is dropping, it’s easy to find someone to boost it back up to its proper place.

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