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I am back home! Yay! And now that I am back, all the stress that I was suppressing while I was home is starting to surface. Maybe it’s the jet lag. Maybe it’s fear of the unknown. All I know, is that I’m totally freaked out about starting to teach at the end of this month.

I just don’t feel like I know what to do. I try to hold on to the fact that the school wouldn’t have hired me if they didn’t believe from my CV and from my demo lesson that I could handle it. Right? What do I do the first day? How do I make the rules clear? What if I can’t remember the kids’ names? What if I can’t actually teach them? I’m wigging out.

I know what I need to do. I need to focus on getting my papers from last semester written and out of the way. I need to call my mentor teacher to discuss the upcoming year. I need to make an appointment with the heads of the school to get my paperwork started. I need to breathe. I need to calm down.

Tomorrow, I am going first thing in the morning to collect my ID card. Scratch that, first I will pay my cell phone bill THEN I will go to get my ID card. After I get my ID, I will call my mentor teacher and the VP of my school. Hopefully talking to them will shed some much needed calm and clarity on my situation. Right now, I just feel as though I was so hyperfocused on getting a job, that I neglected to consider what I would do if I actually got the job. Am I qualified for this?

Also, I know that the papers from last semester are adding extra baggage to my over-worked brain. It is what it is. I just need to sit down and do them.

I can do this. I think I can do this. I hope I can do this. Regardless, I’m about to find out if I can do this.