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This is just a quick post to say that I might be disappearing for longer than usual starting soon. Then again, I might actually be writing more than usual as well. I’m not making sense.

At the end of this week, I’ll be traveling to the US for a week or so. My dad is having heart trouble again.

On the positive side, he hasn’t had a heart attack or anything yet, so that’s good. But when he went to his cardiologist for a general check up, an ecocardiogram revealed two blocked arteries, necessitating another test to check out the extent of the problem. After the scope test yesterday, the news was dire: the aortic valve that was replaced about 5 years ago is 100% blocked and failing and another valve that was repaired in 2008 is also 100% blocked and nonfunctional. It seems that surgery is imminent.

My dad is not a young, healthy guy. He’s 77 with the mentality of a 104 yr. old. When the job and housing crisis hit the US, he lost his job and was forced into early retirement. My parents lost their house to a foreclosure and had no choice but to declare bankruptcy. This has taken an emotional toll on my father more than mere words on a page can describe. Having no other interests and no feeling of purpose, he aged fast. that was 4 years ago.

Aside from this, he has diabetes and has had heart trouble for as long as I can remember. Angiograms, angioplasties, stints, double bypasses, triple bypasses, valve replacements, and catheterization are all words and processes I’ve been familiar with for most of my childhood and young adulthood. As my mom and sister say occasionally, my father has been living on borrowed time for over the last 10 years or so.

I’m scared. I’m going to the states to be with him and with my mom. I’m not exactly sure what I will be be able to accomplish necessarily by being there in person, but I know that if I stay here, detached, and separated by 7000 miles and 7 hours time difference I’ll just make myself crazy.

Time to pack.