…or at least, I could be eventually.
Roy came into my life very abruptly. A few hours ago, he left from our second date.
Date one was Wednesday night in Yafo. A blanket on the grass, overlooking the sea, drinking a few beers, just chatting and getting to know each other. It was perfect.
Date two was last night (Thursday), and I hesitate to call it a date. He got out of work at 1AM and came to my place at 2AM. We sat and spoke, continuing to get to know each other. Eventually, 4AM arrived and we fell asleep.
Now, under normal circumstances, I would never ever allow a 2nd date to occur at 2AM the night after the first date. But, here’s why Roy is special: We met and had an instant connection. An instant ease and comfort with each other. Barely knowing each other, we both craved more. Unfortunately, Roy is leaving in a few days for Spain. The morning of our first date, he accepted a seasonal position which will take him away from Israel for 3-4 months starting ASAP. Against his better judgement, we kept our first date despite knowing he’s leaving. And now that we have met each other, we both want to maximize our time together before he leaves. Story of my life. At least this one is coming back.
There is something special about Roy. There is a sincerity about him, despite the craziness of our situation. It is obvious he has a good heart. Not only is he extremely demonstrative and passionate, but he is very open and communicative. He is constantly telling me that he thinks I am beautiful. He loves my body, my eyes, my hair, the way I kiss. He doesn’t realize that I understand a lot of Hebrew so, sometimes he spits out Hebrew phrases in between kissing me: At mamash mashehoo meyuhedet. At madhima, be’emet. Ma at osah li? (You are really something special. You are amazing, really. What are you doing to me?) Instantly followed by more kissing. Then he says “I’ll explain later,” and I just smile and kiss him back.
Last night, he told me that he’ll never let anything happen to me, and he’ll never let me be hurt. Strangely enough, I’m inclined to believe him.
“I could easily fall in love with you,” he breathed into my ear mid-kissing.
This was followed by a moment of sobriety where he said “I can’t ask you to wait for me while I’m gone. It’s not fair to you. But I’m worried that when I get back you won’t be available…what if you meet someone else?” All I could say in response was, “Whatever is meant to be, will be. Thank you for not asking me to wait, but let’s just see what happens..it will all work out for the best.”
Then, thirty minutes later, he said, “I want to be with you. I want you to be mine. I want you to be with me as my girlfriend.” To which I responded, “Now is not the right time. You’re leaving in a few days and we’ll see what happens while you’re away. Maybe you’ll meet a Spanish girl. Let’s just take one day at a time and see where this ride takes us.”
We went out for breakfast this morning. Without skipping a beat, he ordered for me in Hebrew. He held my hands across the table. He kissed me standing on the street, more than a few times. He held my hand while we walked. He is such a nice man.
He listened to my story about my tattoo and when I was finished he sat back and said, “You have been through a lot for someone so young..” Last night, he referred to people’s previous experiences as “scratches.” I asked him if I was too “scratched up” for him. “Of course not,” he said. “Scratches are what make people interesting.”
Roy is 31 and we share the same birthday. I’m not sure if that means anything. He is leaving in a few days. I’m not sure what will happen after that. I’m not sure about a lot of things. But, I know that we parted ways just 2 hours ago and I miss him already.
I don’t think I’m being naive about this guy and here’s why:
1. I have been on dates with many men who tell me how amazing they think I am, and I usually respond with a healthy level of skepticism, reminding them that “they don’t know me yet.” I don’t feel the need to do that with Roy. His complements seem genuine so far.
2. Historically, when men shower me with “you’re so easy to love” statements, again, my reaction is generally to retreat and be creeped out.
3. Usually the uber nice guy is a major turn off to me. Someone who is so saccharine sweet reads as phony and balls-less. Not Roy. His niceness is oddly refreshing, yet it is also very present. He’s not shy about how he feels and it doesn’t make me uncomfortable.
4. I trust that his departure will be good for both of us. It will give us time to talk, get to know each other, and not jump into anything so serious right away. If there are red flags, they’ll come out in his absence.
Besides, what’s wrong with being able to recognize and know what you want when it’s in front of you? My dad proposed to my mom on their first and second date. 20 days after their first date, they were married. Sometimes, maybe you really do just know.