There are many
reasons excuses for my unexplained and unprompted hiatus from writing recently. I feel that I owe you an explanation although in all likelihood, that’s not true. The internet community can be both very forgiving and brutal at the same time. On one hand, people who are regular readers and followers will grow bored of searching for new content and updates only to always find the same “most recent” post, collecting dust on the front page of a website. These people will eventually get frustrated, possibly even offended, by the blogger’s lack of attention given to them and to his blog. Ultimately, frustration leads to anger which leads to apathy. Followers stop checking for new content and the blog is forgotten about in the folds of time.
Conversely to these readers are those that maybe aren’t such avid followers, but follow here and there when they think of it. They check today, maybe the they check next week. If there’s something new to read, great! If not, maybe there will be next time. Eventually, they always remember to check back though.
Regardless of who or what kind of follower is reading this, I still feel obligated to explain my sudden silence recently. Well, first and foremost, every time I sat down and started to blog in the past month, I began to have massive guilt issues about spending time blogging but not spending time working on my thesis. It’s silly and irrational but it’s true. It’s like my brain was screaming at me, “What?! You have time to blog but not to write the most important paper of your academic career that is already a year overdue?!?” I couldn’t argue with my angry brain. But, because I had absolutely no interest in picking up my thesis again at these points, I simply conceded and agreed that I shouldn’t leisure write until I also have the time to work write.
Today is Monday. Last Friday was my last day of school for the summer. Now, I have 8 weeks of rest, relaxation, thesis work, and general easy-going-ness ahead of me. Sounds nice, right? Be jealous.
The end of the year was met with a general bittersweet emotion. The end of the first year of a job I loved, let alone liked the whole year. Saying “so long for now” to this year’s grade 5, a fabulous and talented class that was a pleasure to teach the whole year. Recognizing that I’m going from 60mph to 0mph in less than a moment. And the unfortunate, daunting feeling that now I have no excuse to avoid my thesis.
On top of all of this, my father is dying. I’m not going to spend a great deal of time wallowing or pouring my heart out over it here, but suffice it to say that it has not been an easy concept to wrap my head around.
So there you have it.
All Most of the reasons for my absence recently. Moving forward, I’ll be alternating blogging and thesis-ing until this monster is conquered. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself I’m going to do.