Stay with me on this one…back in December, Alex tried to set me up with his new girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend, Todd. This was a real “only in Israel” situation. First, Alex gave him my Facebook profile and the next thing I knew, I had a friend request from him. Shortly after, he found out I was going to be in NYC for the holidays and he asked me to bring back a winter coat for him from NYC.
I, being American sometimes deep down, found this a very odd and presumptuous request. I didn’t even know this guy and he was asking me to not only go out of my way to go shopping for him, but to bring back something that I thought was going to take up a lot of space in my suitcase. We hadn’t even met in person yet!
I compromised and told him that I couldn’t go shopping but if he wanted to order it online to my mom’s house, I would bring it back from the USA. Then I returned from America and the coat took up space in my apartment for the next month.
Finally, after many half-assed attempts to meet, we met up and I gave him the coat. He seemed nice but definitely not the kind of guy I had grown accustomed to dating here. He’s really pale, and has very feminine features. In pictures he looks like a hipster and in person he comes off as a bit bisexual. He certainly isn’t the tall, dark, handsome Moroccan that I’m used to (Alex, Ben, Alec, and Oliver -my 4 best male friends- are all gorgeous and of similar decent).
Our first meeting was short and sweet. We had coffee and then he walked me home. I found myself opening up to him about my sad story that I left behind in America. I had gone out without washing my hair or shaving my legs…I guess mentally I felt like there was nothing to lose or gain som why not air all my emotional dirty laundry?
We kissed a little bit in front of my apartment that night, and it was sweet but I still wasn’t convinced that he was worth my time.
Then, he asked me out for a second date and we spent 90% of it talking about sex and our previous relationships. Not normal second date conversation, but it was interesting. He admitted out loud that he knows he’s not the macho Israeli stereotype, and told me that he’s somewhat proud of it. Except when a girl broke up with him by telling him that he’s not “manly” enough, it inspired him to go out and prove her wrong by sewing his wild oats.
We kissed at the table. We walked home hand in hand. We stood on my stoop kissing for sometime when we got to my place. Then he left and I realized I was grinning from the night.
We have another date (date 3) tonight and I’m excited but I’m confused because I spent so much time bashing him before I met him based on his coat situation and his Facebook profile. Am I embarrassed? Feel like I’m eating my words? You bet.
Is he a strong enough man for me despite coming off as a bit bi? Or am I just too strong and independent as a woman to be with the kind of strong man I am looking for? Maybe I need someone who is a little weaker (even though the thought makes my stomach turn). Or maybe he’s actually stronger than I am initially giving him credit for. We’ll see.
I spoke to Alec about this last night. He didn’t offer so much advice, except to say that he looks normal and that maybe I’m being too hard on him. He was no help.