Two weeks ago, I met a man. We’ll call him Red.
I haven’t blogged about him, nor did I tell anyone in my life that he existed. I was trying a new thing where I keep the new man I’m dating a secret until either it works out or it doesn’t. I felt like maybe telling people that “I have a date tonight!” was the kiss of death for the date before it even began. I know. I’m very superstitious. Get over it.
Anyway, Red and I began seeing each other a little over two weeks ago. Everything was going well. We were meeting, talking, drinking, smoking, and eventually f*cking our way into a nice little relationship.
He is nice, charming, good looking, very smart (having two degrees from the Technion [like the Israeli MIT]), in a band (plays guitar), and well spoken. We share a lot of interests including music, art, current events, and food. Everything was going so well.
Then, last Thursday, we had plans to go to his friend’s party in Jerusalem. When I got out of work, I texted him basically to say how much I was looking forward to seeing him that night and to ask about the plan. 10 minutes later, he called me while he was running to meet his friends who were going to give him a ride to the party. “Sorry, there’s just no room for you in the car,” he said.
I was angry. Not flamingly angry. Pissed. Here we had plans, and then last minute, he informs me that our plan doesn’t matter. He wasn’t especially apologetic or sincere sounding. It just sounded like it was more important for him to get a ride to the party than it was to keep his plan with me. I told him to have fun and that was that.
I didn’t expect to hear from him again. I made it clear on the phone that I wasn’t happy, and I was pretty sure he got off the phone and said “wow, what a bitch,” to his friends in the car. I didn’t care. The time in my life when I make excuses for being a low priority in men’s lives is over. Over.
Friday and Saturday go by. No contact. Sunday night he calls. I was already in bed, delirious from pain medication (I threw my back out a few days ago). I didn’t answer. I texted 10 minutes later, mostly out of curiosity, “hey saw I missed your call. not feeling well.” He called again, I answered but I don’t remember the whole conversation. I think he offered to bring me something. I was way way way too medicated to see anyone and of course, I declined.
Then, I got a message this morning: “what are you dinner plans tonight?”
What to do? My gut is saying go out with him again and see if he’s truly apologetic for what happened on Thursday, because canceling our plans like that was not nice at all. I did really like him until Thursday. Maybe everyone deserves a second chance? Or maybe that’s just who he is and he’ll likely do it again?
But I did like him…
Dating is hard.